I’ve been living between my boyf’s house & mine for abt a year now.

Living in my boyfs has opened my eyes to a whole new world. Here, hot water, a bathtub, astro, a clean kitchen, wifi connection, & airconditioning are considered “luxuries.” They are a traditionally loud Hakka family where English is their 3rd language. They do not prioritize education, or utilize technology. Instead, all their focus is on maintaining a successful food business where every family member works & benefits from together. They’ve spent their lives working hard as Wantanmee, MixedRice & Porkballmee hawkerstall owners in a coffee shop.

I grewup thinking the things he lacks were a “normalcy” to own. Coming from a mixed heritage of Eurasian & Chinese, my brothers & I only speak English & Malay. We are so detached frm our Chinese roots tht we shamefully dnt knw hw to use chopsticks! While my parents don’t demand good grades, my brothers & I attend private institutions. Everyone but me is tech-savvy, & I hv the kind of dad tht shouts at me for not updating my IPhone. To be clear, we are far from wealthy but were comfortable.

.. Alternating between the two places I call home has brought both good & bad.

Before this year, I didn’t know an array of Chinese dishes such as “loklok” & “tongyuen” existed. I also never understood the joy of walking 1sweaty round at a nearby pasarmalam. The best thing to come out of living here though, is the fact tht I nw hv a fair grasp on the Cantonese language! These are things I swear I never thought I’d learn.

My family questions why I choose to spend the majority of my time here when they give me everything home. They doubt my love for them, when in truth I just don’t know how to express how much I miss them everyday. It’s honestly the most painful thing, but how do you find balance, find a solution to longing to be in one place just as much as the other?

Wht they dnt realize is being here makes me appreciate the things I’m blessed with, as well as the values enforced in my upbringing like never before. Watching him & his siblings striving to work fr every ringgit makes me appreciate every ringgit of the allowance I receive for doing nothing. Seeing his family so happy at a simple meal at a coffeeshop makes me quietly thank God everytime I sit down & share pricey meals my fam doesn’t consider special every weekend. Showering in cold water with a broken nozzle at his house makes me enjoy my warm baths at home just a lil more.

I can’t help but wonder sometimes how I ended up engulfed in such different worlds.. but I guess Love is funny tht way. Love teaches you to love polar opposites, & learn things you never thought you needed to understand.